normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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