I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
