I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
