4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
