oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
