what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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