I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
