either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
