is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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