trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
