This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
