I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
