Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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