Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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