You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
