its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
