My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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