hotel room ftw
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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