I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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