Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
