My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
