there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
