Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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