well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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