take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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