If i come over, it means nothing
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
