Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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