we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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