Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
