I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
