and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
