Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
