So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so let's talk penis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
