I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
