are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
