Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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