A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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