the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
