I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
