Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
