we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
