it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
