So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
