he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
as a side note pls kill me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
