she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
