And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
