Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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