My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
