So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
try to milk me bitch
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