Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
