You just made me feel so damn special
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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