I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
